San Diego from Coronado

Today marks my one-year anniversary in San Diego. A year ago yesterday, I was driving through the desert with the then-boyfriend, my car packed to the brim, feeling incredibly worn down and nursing a horrible cold. I don’t think I’ll ever do that 12-hour stretch between Boulder and Vegas again, especially after that trip.

A year ago today, I arrived to a cute apartment and the beautiful San Diego sunshine (though that sunshine is notably absent today). I haven’t seen snow since (and I admit that I do miss it). I have plenty of times regretted my decision to move to San Diego, though I never outright admitted it; it was better to pretend that I was sincerely enjoying myself when instead I truly believed that I had made the worst decision of my life. It’s been quite a while since I’ve felt that way, and now I finally feel like I’m in the right place.

What changed? Employment at a great company. A stable living situation. Great friends — not that I didn’t have some good friends before, but I know now who my real friends are. Seeing my family. Visiting Boulder for a weekend. And of course, a little bit of time; time does heal a lot, even if you’re depending on words or apologies that don’t come through… and probably never will.

I actually didn’t think I would make it an entire year. On three separate occasions, I very seriously planned on leaving. On one occasion, I had even made arrangements to get out of San Diego and try to find some work in Boulder. I’m glad it didn’t work out that way; had I given up just like that, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I’ve said it a lot and I’ll say it again: getting out of my comfort zone was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, but it has been the most rewarding. I’ve moved and lived somewhere far away all by myself besides coming to San Diego — in an entirely different country at that — but I knew what I was getting into then and I knew that I’d be returning home. Now that I’ve upped the ante, I know I’m capable of more.

Toby, my Shar-Pei

I’ll be back in San Diego by the end of the week — I wish I could stay with my family a bit longer, though. Not long after I get back, I will settle down in a new apartment, and on June 15th, I’ll start a new gig as a project manager. I didn’t think I could manage staying in San Diego, but it looks like San Diego can’t get rid of me just quite yet.

Well, enough about me… what should you check out this week?

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MUST READ

I came upon an article discussing the role of hipsters in society and… wait, did I really start out a sentence like that? Believe it or not, there’s some serious discussion out there about hipsters, what they really are, what they do, and what we should think of hipsters. Live and let live, if you ask me, so I’m not one to criticize; however, this article (“What We Talk About When We Talk About Hipsters” in The L Magazine)  supports hipsters, if you will, as propagators of culture. I guess.

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MUST SEE

There are some neat videos on YouTube commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Annecy Animation Festival. This one was peculiar but pretty neat — check it out:

There are more videos on the festival’s YouTube channel.

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MUST HEAR

I caught a cute little advertisement for Schwinn bicycles and really loved the song they used. It’s called “Just a Dream” by AM60.

Ocean Beach, San Diego

Six months. I’m still in California, but I have no idea where I’ll be in a month.

I arrived in sunny San Diego on November 8, 2009 with no idea what to expect. Had you asked me then where I’d be in six months, I’d have given you an answer quite different from reality. And that’s okay, because I’m enjoying it. I’m learning a lot and it’s just what I needed.

What’s next? I’m excited to find out.

A worn-down jennyjenjen at Coachella

For a few weeks now, I have been silly busy. I’ve even been too busy to post a Must Read/See/Hear update; there’s just so much going on, like moving, finding a job, and attending boatloads of events.

It’s been nice being busy. My mind has generally been occupied with the future, my ambitions, what I need to do to succeed at this point in my life, and actually, the relationships I have around me that keep me balanced and sane. While I get a little frustrated every day, I’m also in this very great period of personal growth — and I’m getting outside of my comfort zone, just like I intended to by moving to San Diego.

Anyhow, I thought I’d post on my blog for several reasons: first, Butch keeps bugging me about my Must Read/See/Hear series (which shall return even as soon as this Monday); second, I should definitely keep this remotely updated and post something during the month of April; and third, I wanted to post a rundown of all the fun things I’ve been doing this month that will appear on the blog within the next few weeks.

So what will I be eagerly writing about soon?

• One Day Coachella 2010 with my Sony bloggie. This has to be one of the coolest things I’ve done in a while! I had the opportunity to attend Coachella 2010 for just one day, and thanks to Sony Electronics, I had the opportunity of capturing it with a bloggie.
• Getting a makeup tutorial by Estie. Estie of Estie’s International showed me (and a few other ladies!) how to apply makeup in a way that flatters the shape of my face without looking overdone, and then he sent us home with some goodies so we could test our newly-acquired skills ourselves!
• Attending yoga classes at Corepower Yoga. Thanks to a week-long free trial at Corepower Yoga from Sugar Jones, I was able to try some yoga classes. Funny — I never took yoga classes while living in Boulder, CO, but after trying it at Corepower, I like it!
• Attending the Influence SD awards. I was the lucky winner of two floor tickets for the first annual Influence SD, thanks to Someday I’ll Learn. It was the first event of its kind that I’d ever been to, and I had a blast!

Phew. That’s a lot, really. How many exclamation points did I use there? (No, really… don’t count.) April really has been an extremely exciting month for me, and I’m hoping that it only gets better as May rolls around.

And with that, I’ll also have plenty about being a complete fangirl and getting the chance to meet Spoon. (Yes, I met Britt Daniel! And I kept my composure!)

Until then, this busy little bee needs her beauty rest…

I’ve been in San Diego for just over five weeks now, and life is radically different than I thought it would be. I guess I had certain kinds of expectations.

If anything, I expected to be a lot happier and excited to be here. I love new places, always have, and I’ve uprooted myself once before to live in an entirely different place; moving to Sweden was a huge thing, but that was under very different circumstances, and I kind of knew what I was getting myself into there.

The thing is, I had no idea what I was getting myself into here. It’s a lot of change to move a third of the way across the country, have only a handful of friends, and not have any sort of reliable job. It was a lot of adjustment for me — for anyone, really — and I wasn’t well-equipped to handle any kind of emotional stress.

It would only be my luck that emotional stress had a way to find me.

I considered my move three-fold: mind, body, and heart. I explained in a previous post that I knew I needed something new, and that I had arranged accommodations in San Diego — that takes care of my mind and body. But as for my heart? I had fallen for someone out here, and I didn’t even know it. I knew that the guy I had met was wonderful, I enjoyed my time with him, and that I wanted to be around him more — and the fact that my housing and intended career path matched up with San Diego, I thought that the pieces were just falling into place.

Guess what? It didn’t work out too well with the guy; in only four days, he broke it off. Among other things, I think we had a difference in expectations. Weeks later, after flurries of text messages, letters, arguments, and a lot of misunderstandings and rash decisions, we don’t even speak. I know now that I fell for him and that my feelings were stronger than I thought.

How did I not predict this was going to happen? Isn’t it a classic story? Conventional storytelling would have marked it as doomed from the beginning.

I’ve had about five weeks now to process just what happened. It’s been a valuable lesson. This kind of stress would hurt even if I was in a comfortable place  –  even if I had friends, family, a stable job, and more money than I know what I do with, it would still hurt. It just happened to be a bit harder on me because it took me mostly by surprise, occurred while I didn’t have very good footing, and most of all, when my expectations were very different.

However, I’m not giving up on San Diego. I love it here. When I drive over the valley, even if the smog is a bit thick, I look over all the buildings and hills and I am thankful that I’m here. I still have my mind and body to think about while my heart repairs itself; I have temporary seasonal work until I find something more career-oriented, and I have all sorts of new neighborhoods and places to explore — these are the things I desperately needed.

Sadly, I won’t be home for the holidays. I have always expected to be with my family over the holidays, but just like I expected a lot of other things, that doesn’t mean it’ll always happen. And I guess I’ll get used to it.

Were my expectations fulfilled? Not entirely. Not at all, for the most part. But I have a new set of expectations now. Is it a vicious cycle? We’ll see. All I can be certain about now is that expectations are just that — expectations. If they were certain, they’d be called “guarantees.”

As of right now, the plan is to pack my things, put most of it into storage, and head west to San Diego.

I didn’t want to be writing this. I was hoping that I’d find something at the last minute. But when I look at my finances and all of my options, it doesn’t make any sense for me to stay.

Am I angry? It varies, but for the most part, yes. While I usually take the stance that I am always lucky to have anything at all, I felt truly jipped this time. I fully intended to stay in Boulder for a while. I love this town, I love this neighborhood, and I love the people around me. I needed several months of a steady job to start paying off bills and for some reason it just wasn’t meant to be.

However, I’m comfortable in Boulder. I think I’m too young to be comfortable here. What happens when a person is too comfortable where they’re at is what happens when people settle for things and become complacent. I’d like to spend the rest of my life in Boulder, but not just yet; I want to explore what else is out there and come back some day. It’ll always be here.

So why San Diego? For one, there are more opportunities for my type of work out there. Also, a lovely friend is helping me out by renting her place out to me, and I’m incredibly grateful. I’ve now got friends there — not a whole lot, but I’m good at making new friends — and there are particular people out there with whom I’d like to spend a whole lot more time.

The last time I left Boulder, I knew I was coming back for school. Now I don’t have any other reason to come back besides the fact that I love this town. I appreciated it a lot more when I left it for a while, and it’ll be that way again.

I might have a night out before I leave. Actually, I’ll definitely have a night out before I leave. I’ll at least be out on the town for Halloween and there will be at least one more trip to the Downer. But I hope I get the chance to say goodbye to everyone, and I’ll try my best to see people before I get out of here.

Is this goodbye, Boulder? Not entirely. Just for a bit.

CU Football Game