Uppsala Domkyrkan (cathedral) in Uppsala, Sweden

Last week marked two years since I moved back to the U.S. from Uppsala, Sweden. I climbed on a plane on 20 June 2007 to go to Dublin for two days before flying into Chicago for a week with the family, ultimately landing back in Denver, CO on 29 June 2007.

I think about life in Sweden almost daily. If I had the opportunity — that is, the visa for a job and a job that can pay my bills — then I’d probably be back there in an instant. After all, part of the reason I pretty much abandoned my desire to go to law school was because I could see myself living in Sweden again, and law school (and paying for law school) takes the kind of time and effort that would keep me from being able to return anytime soon.

Once in a while, I dream about life in Uppsala. I have one particular recurring dream that I happen to enjoy: I’m in Storatorget in Uppsala, walking through the Åhléns, telling myself that I can will myself to step out of my dream and onto the streets in an instant, just for a quick visit. I wind my way through the shops and the streets and find myself unable to will myself there, knowing that my time is limited and I’ve only got hours or even minutes before I wake up in my bed back in Colorado.

I’m in no rush to go back to Sweden, not even for a visit. I wish I could say that I was, but it’s tough to afford Sweden as an American, especially with a bad economy. My current work is unreliable and I am better off paying bills and saving up some money than I am traveling back. I wish I didn’t have to restrict myself so much; it seems like a lot of people do the sensible thing by saving money and waiting for a trip, but sometimes end up never going back. I don’t want to end up like that, so I do intend to make a trip back in the next few years, even if I’m not moving back.

The things I miss the most vary quite a lot. Some of the food was great, like filmjölk (soured milk), leverpastej (liver pâté), sill (herring, particularly pickled), Lingongrova (a really good rye bread). Certain aspects of my social life there was great, but I really only knew a student’s life, so I don’t know what it would be like to live there as a professional and make friends and acquaintances that way.

Things I don’t miss… well, for one, it seems like a lot less now that I am here in the US and I have good memories of Sweden. It’s the whole “grass is always greener” and whatnot. I’m sure I would find the weather and darkness to be a drag, and even though I speak Swedish, sometimes I really missed my first language a whole lot. I think that will happen to any ex-pat, anywhere.

For now I’ll have to be content with the surreal dreams and great memories of my time there. Is it completely satisfying? No. Will I be missing out on a lot by having to wait to go back? Probably, but that’s a matter of perspective at some degree. But will I actually return, whether it’s a full move or just a visit? Yes. And I’m counting on it.