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Thoughts on “Why chicks should be banned from All-Star voting”

23 May 2008 191 views 2 Comments

Preface: I read this article/blog entitled “Why chicks should be banned from All-Star voting” by Den Cotton tonight, and although slightly offended, I was mostly amused.

Why offended? Hey, some of us female sports fans are totally worth it.

Ah, if men only knew that this is no way to demand attention.

Here’s my extended response.

* * *

To Den, and those who commented on his blog:

Of course there’s loads of sexism in this. What did you all expect from the title (or from Den, for that matter)? Did you think this was going to be completely free of sexism? What would the point be if it wasn’t sexist?

There are pretty big differences between the following: 1) the girl who goes to *any* baseball game in a pink Yankees hat and her very best push-up bra and women’s-cut pinstripe jersey, 2) the girl who would defend perennial chokers like the Flyers until the end of the world *just* because she thinks that’s what being a “fan” means, and 3) the girl who can deal with sports, who likes it for the most part, and won’t ask stupid questions. Of course, outside of these categories are the girls who just don’t follow sports whatsoever, and we’re all better off if they keep their noses out of it anyways.

I really think that those are the three varieties of females who follow sports. Personally, I’m in the third category. Yeah, I went through my phase of NHL fandom and went the way of a passive fan by the time the lockout did its damage. (By the way, the NHL comment is probably the lowest point in the entire article, because I think a die-hard NFL girl is far scarier than an NHL girl — christ, Den, have you never seen a Raiders game?! Or if racing was a sport in my book… that’s a whole different topic, though.) And of course I have my league favorites in the NFL and MLB. But it doesn’t consume my life any more than the Victoria’s Secret Semi-Annual sale would.

(Though, I have to admit, the competitive quality of rooting for a solid team in a fantastic postseason matchup is far more appealing compared to the kind of battle that ensues over the last black 36C seamless bra.)

I’ve found that it’s quite the balance to not be a fan but to follow sports, and follow intelligently. It really is horrendous that one could even think about shaming a woman for having an interest in something remotely competitive. Is it more credible for a woman to be into, say, knitting — because it’s more womanly? Because it isn’t competitive? What is sport besides something that encourages competition in a physical, energizing way? What I see as possibly the most sexist part of this article is not in the blatant “I need material” statements about the gender roles in a typical household. Instead, I think this can be read as somewhat of a reflection of what men really do want: that women shouldn’t stake an interest in something clearly dominated by men, partially because men don’t want to be expected to have an interest in something considered feminine. What better way to encourage getting something one wants than to lob it out in hopes of reciprocation?

Anyhow, it would be any reasonable male sports fan’s loss to skip out on a woman who can score a baseball game but isn’t a raging Mets fan. Or to be intimidated by a girl who knows the difference between hooking and roughing (and I’m talking about the kind seen on the hockey rink). Think about it. Just how bland would a girl’s personality likely be if she was not a single bit interested in, or even aware of, the sports world? But how obnoxious would it be to date a girl whose entire life is consumed with year after year of obsessive support of some crappy team with no hope anyhow? To me, it’s like virtually any other category in which judging a person’s attachment to something can say a lot about that person; that is, moderation is key. I don’t think any chick is clamoring for some Masshole who could rattle off every stat for each Red Sox pitcher in the last decade, but no reasonable woman would ask her potential mate to give up sports entirely. Sports are just too relevant in Western society anymore for the audience to be divided by gender, despite the competitive aspect requiring division to some degree (i.e., women’s leagues). And personally, I’d be slightly concerned about a man who hasn’t shown an interest in a single sport on this earth. Especially an American man. Yeah, go ahead — call *me* sexist. But I find that American men who are uninterested in sports have been sheltered far beyond my point of tolerance.

Furthermore, it’s rather hasty to infer that a girl who is into sports *wouldn’t* be a book nerd (or at least a trust fund hippie). Women are a lot of things, and can fit into a lot of categories; shame on any man who stereotypes like that. Maybe Den hasn’t met his sports match, and has yet to be turned on by a girl’s sports knowledge instead of intimidated. Insecurity, anyone?

Plus, ya know… chances are, the sports-knowledgeable girl is competitive. And a competitive girl likes a spark. A guy who’s into sports? And a girl who’s into sports? Sounds like the makings of a good sex life to me. After overtime, that is.

  • Den

    Jen,

    Very fine points. I think all of you made very good observations and I deserved some ribbing. But know this, both my sister and mother were soccer coaches. Both very strong women, who are probably equally embarrassed by me. My mother coached a guys team! She can’t ground me anymore, so I know she is going to punch me in the face when I see her. Both my parents were “the man” of the house. And in fact, anything my dad could do, my mom could do better.

    I don’t expect you to believe that I’m not sexist or that I’m not a fool. I just wanted to say something that I think legitimately exists in society. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t be discussing it. I intentionally made it a sexist column, whether that was right or wrong, or whether I believed everything I said. I played up a lot of stereotypes. The one thing missed here is that I’m really not a huge sports fan in terms of “rooting” for teams. I watch some games every once in a while and that’s that. If women want to be fans, that’s wonderful. These poor athletes have to get paid!

    The fact is that I completely admire strong women, have dated many — sports fans or not — and would never intentionally degrade them, suggest that they are not equal, or even imply that they should not be involved in something once dominated by men. I just think “organized sports” are silly — even though they are fun. Therefore, I was really speaking to the fact that we are all just kind of funny creatures and very different ones at that.

    If I failed in this, it is that my core group of women friends are very sarcastic folks. But I wasn’t writing to them though, and so the message was different to a lot of people. But it did spark a very good debate in which I thought it would.

  • jasonwrites

    Well done, my friend.

    I thank God everyday that I married a woman who enjoys sports, and can converse about sports, and will tolerate my sometimes obsessive viewing of sports on television. She’ll watch teams and players she cares about, but is by no means fanatical. I don’t think I really am either. I’ve been both– a mere follower of sports, who could watch and enjoy any good game for the sake of watching it being played well, and a FAN.

    After coming to Colorado I started to follow the Rockies, as they were the local franchise in my favorite sport. (An aside for that: I’m a man who enjoys sports but also is the “book nerd” type– and I think it’s only natural when you have that combination that your favorite sport is baseball. Baseball is, of all the major sports, by far the one most obsessed with statistics, and it’s led to a surprising amount of academic interest in it; there are those who feel the game can be explained, and players’ and teams’ performances predicted, almost entirely through quantitative analysis. I disagree with that view. Also on the nerdy side, though, baseball is the game wherein physics most come into play. Anyway, I digress). It was a casual following until last year. Having completed my first year of teaching, one way I enjoyed my summer time off was to watch a lot of games. I got to know the team “intimately” and became keen on their potential long before the late-September run brought everyone in Denver aboard the bandwagon. Frankly, their experience through the playoffs brought light into some very dark times for me. And so I became a true FAN, someone whose life is inordinately affected by the team’s success or failure. I wish I wasn’t now– I wish I could just brush off their struggles and say, “it’s only a game,” but I can’t, because now I’m thoroughly converted to fandom. And in many ways it’s the hardest thing to be– because you can’t be on the field or even on the bench. You have absolutely no power over the decisions or the outcome; all you can do is sit there and watch and root and hope for the best and try to keep it in perspective when they lose.

    But that’s far off topic. As for female sports fans– I agree with your assessment of three categories. I admire sports knowledge in women more than men; I guess it’s just a bit more surprising, and yes, that’s a sexist viewpoint. One thing I’ve noticed is that women more often seem to be fans of individual players than men do, but that’s only my experience. I could make some hypothesis about emotionality, but that would only sound sexist as well. I think it’s a shame more women aren’t in the coaching ranks, because I think their quality (in general) of being better multi-taskers would be a great asset. And I’m also ashamed to see how backwards we remain as a society when it comes to women’s sports. The women in sports who are best-known are not the best athletes or performers in their field, but the ones who are most stereotypically “hot.” Exhibit A: Anna Kournikova, who still hasn’t won a tournament. Maria Sharapova is another example– she has a more credible record but is still marketed on her sex appeal. As is Danica Patrick. It’s sad.

    I had more worthwhile points I wanted to make here, but oddly enough, I’m choosing to type this at a quarter to midnight. So, I’ll just say, bravo again. =)